The Pilgrimage of Engagement

Most of you may know by now that I became engaged on July 7th. I began dating Karla back in February, and it wasn't before long that I knew...I wanted to marry this woman. A few weeks before, we had already began attending an Adult Bible Fellowship class on the topic "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I had already given her the hint that I wanted to marry her (and I pretty much knew what her answer would be), so we thought this class would be a good start for her and I. And I know I haven't stopped learning since, both educational and experiential.

We both had and still have the desire for our relationship to be grounded on the principles of God, and that He above all else to is glorified with what we think, do, and say with each other. Dr. Eggerichs's DVD series was only a beginning--our pastor Bill Fowler recommended to us Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas. If the title alone doesn't make you go, "Oh wow...", then I don't know what will.

"Love and Respect" was one thing: okay, she needs love and I need respect. "Okay, I thought. Simple enough. She will respect me by me loving her, and the wheels go round-and-round." Then Sacred Marriage came along, and yes, the title scared me. At the start I wondered if this guy's thesis was to make me think God only cares about our holiness and not our happiness. Quite the contrary. He sets out to show how God has created this institution, not just to continue the human race, but expose even more how much we need Him to transform us into His likeness. And so, God knows that our ultimate happiness comes from the Gospel, our desire & pursuit of Him, and a lifestyle of holiness. I didn't want this post to necessarily be a book review, but I wanted to make mention of & recommend it to anyone looking for a good read on the subject. Regardless if you're engaged, married, or desiring to be, this is a keeper. A special thanks to Gary for this book (and the signed gift edition that Karla and I received from him personally!).

I titled this post with the word "pilgrimage" strategically. This engagement, though looking back time has flown, we have less than 4 months to go and yet it seems so far away. I know marriage will be one also, as it will be her and me embracing life together as one. But right now, the pilgrimage is leaving the single life, walking the road of engagement, towards the destination of marriage. It's good and tough. It's good to be learning and studying her: what she likes and doesn't like (from grocery items, to movies, to what gets on her nerves, etc.) and I've heard this never stops. It's good to watch her glow as we experience great times together, and good to be with her during any level of trials. Yet, it's tough to go to our separate abodes; but, we know this is honoring to God and better for us down the road. It's tough when our sin gets in the way of communication. This is the only the shallow end of how our worlds will collide, but I know God is creating something beautiful out of our engagement, and He will in turn make our marriage all the more greater. I'm encouraged by the numerous people who've told us how wonderful it is to see a young couple seek out wisdom on relationships this early in our timeline. I've heard many confess they weren't prepared at all before they tied the knot. I've become a sponge around these folks: soaking up whatever I can get. I want our engagement & marriage to be wonderful, and I don't want anything to ruin it--especially me and my sinful, selfish tendencies. Every day is a learning process, and I love Karla so much that no matter what we go through, I know it's all going to be worth it. God is making us both holy, and by our seeking Him (both individually and together) our joy is overflowing. I'm so ready to marry her, and I'm enjoying each day that leads up to it.