Thursday, February 3, 2011

Atychiphobia

You're probably wondering this means, right? It's the fear of failure. I'm far from being a scientific expert as to what causes this, whether it be neurotransmitters or some similar chemical malfunction in the brain, but the fear of failure can be minute or catastrophic. It could push someone to do better, or to quit. This isn't going to be an exposition of any portion of Scripture, as my posts most commonly are; rather, this is going to be an honest inward reflection of what really causes me to be anxious when considering present/future things.


"Philosopher in Meditation"
This painting by Rembrandt portrays me in an honest, deep way. I think a lot. Whether I'm reading a book, working, driving, sitting in church, etc. it's more than likely visible that I'm meditating on something. What am I thinking about? Well, it varies with the moment: life, God and His Word, future, girlfriend, work, failures, some undesired past event--I could go on. From time to time, dwelling on the uncertainty knocks me off my equilibrium: "What's going to happen next?" Also, "I've begun this path; what if a dead-end awaits?" I've found myself staring at this photo time and time again, seeing my reflection in how I can hang my head low and be lost in thought.