Degradation of Self

I want to run far, far away from problems,
but they just don't seem to go away.
They come and go,
filling my life with pointless voids.
Promising life and pleasure
they deceive and wound my soul.
I know I shouldn't return
but there's an inward pull,
a pull towards safety, towards security.
A dog would not knowingly return to the pound
if it knew it was only a temporary holding cell
until they would put it down.
Why then must I return to sin and get sucked
into the promise of safety and security,
when I know all too well I will be highly disappointed?
Why must I return to the dirty water
when my Savior has promised me living water?
Why do I prefer that which I can obtain now?
My soul aches for God, yet I suppress it,
selfishly wanting what I want right then and there.
My intimacy with my Savior is lacking,
I cry out to thee, my Lord.