The Pilgrimage of Engagement

Most of you may know by now that I became engaged on July 7th. I began dating Karla back in February, and it wasn't before long that I knew...I wanted to marry this woman. A few weeks before, we had already began attending an Adult Bible Fellowship class on the topic "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I had already given her the hint that I wanted to marry her (and I pretty much knew what her answer would be), so we thought this class would be a good start for her and I. And I know I haven't stopped learning since, both educational and experiential.

We both had and still have the desire for our relationship to be grounded on the principles of God, and that He above all else to is glorified with what we think, do, and say with each other. Dr. Eggerichs's DVD series was only a beginning--our pastor Bill Fowler recommended to us Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary Thomas. If the title alone doesn't make you go, "Oh wow...", then I don't know what will.

Sacrificial Love at it's Zenith

Love. A small, four letter word that countless individuals throughout history have tried to grasp. Many scoff at the sound of it. Ask someone what they believe "love" is, and you'll hear things like "when you really really really like someone" or "that pie-in-the-sky feeling that's unattainable." Some have been smothered with love, while others hate the concept of that kind of affection.

What is it about love that one group of people would sacrifice almost anything for it, and the others would sacrifice anything to make sure it keeps its distance? Why is it that we use the same word to describe our affection for "beer & hot wings" with a spouse, family member, or God? Does it demean the word and make it common rather than special?

Anguish of the Soul

A weary soul within, a long face on the surface,

the world promises life, happiness, and bliss.

Eat, drink, be merry, are the commands it gives,

the promised paradise resides on an untouchable hill.

I fall in traps of believing so many lies,

my soul becomes burdened and it's hard to disguise.

God, my God, I have fallen short of your glory,

I've disobeyed, stumbled, questioned, and worried.

I thought to myself, "God, how could you withhold?"

When all along, I was digging my own hole.

Good things you have for those who walk upright,

yet I've transgressed and committed evil in your sight.

Burning the Quran Will Never Win Souls

By Massoud Hossani, AFP/Getty Images

If you haven't heard from various new sources, a couple of soldiers burned some copies of Islam's holy book, the Quran, in Afghanistan and it has sparked an enormous outrage. Not only has this provoked slingshots and stones, but gunfire that has killed two of our own American soldiers. I haven't heard any public statement as to why the soldiers burned them in the first place, but if I could take a guess, it would be in lieu of hatred of the Islamic faith (if wrong, then I stand corrected). But even if my hypothesis is wrong about this incident, the burning of someone else's religious book because of spite isn't a foreign concept--and it happens across the board with all faiths. The Bible, The Quran, The Tanakh, The Bhagavad Gita, and many more have been torched. Allow me to share some thoughts about why I would never think to burn a holy book and how, as Christians, we can share the exclusivity of Jesus Christ and steer clear of this kind of activity.

Yo T-rav, What's New?

I'm glad you asked.

It's February 22, 2012. My last update about life was in November, and some notable things have happened;  I'll work back from December and give you 3 things worthy of mentioning and praise.

Starting off with a big praise! Back in December, my parents and I rode up to VA Beach to visit my brother, Christian, who, being obedient to the Lord's command, was baptized along with his wife. Leading up to this weekend, my brother and I had some great conversations that started with discussing denominations, and from there the meaning of baptism, saving faith, Christian perseverance, and, of course, the Gospel. I was quite to glad to talk with him about all these things, because we had never really done so in the past. Turns out that the Lord had really been doing a work in his heart. Some things had started clicking, like how the Gospel is what brings us to Christ and what carries us all the way home--not our own works. Soon, he and my new sister-in-law began visiting churches in their area, and had finally found one that they would attend on a consistent basis. They began meeting with the leadership at the church, and soon after the leadership evaluated their true, saving faith, a public display of obedience would soon occur--baptism. They invited my parents and I to come be witnesses to the occasion, and I was very glad to be there. Words cannot express how great it is to see my oldest brother pursuing the Lord, and in turn now desiring to be a godly husband and father. What a great God we serve!

Take My Hand, Father

Far be it from me that I would ever denounce the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the substitutionary atonement whereby he was punished in my place for my sin and I'm set free. But when difficulties arise, I find myself questioning certain aspects of God's character, namely: faithfulness, goodness, knowledge, etc. I know God exists, His paths are beyond tracing out, and He has redeemed me from my old ways & has granted me new birth in Christ. But as a child feels sad when his dad doesn't buy him something he wants, so I, at times, don't think God is being the type of Father that He jolly should. I become concerned with many "why" and "why not" questions, and these bring shadows over the light of God's Word. They fracture my prayer life, where I become fatalistic and vacate private devotions because I allow circumstances to distort things and say to myself, "Things will just happen anyway and no prayer of mine could ever thwart the providence of God." Oh, how false these thoughts.

Life Update

Well hello!

It's been since September that I've written a post; figured it was about time I get the gears grinding. Much has happened since, so I'll try and cram it all into a readable, not-too-lengthy-post.

I got the opportunity to fly out to Seattle to see my friends Matt and Mary for 5 days. This trip did wonders for me; not only did I get to see some dear friends, but it was a much needed change of scenery and escape from work. Matt had been begging me to come see him, and I looked up round trip airfare on Expedia...$314.00 after taxes; I bought the tickets before I even asked for the days off from work (but I bought them back in July, so they had plenty of notice). Seattle was a breath of fresh air, literally and metaphorically. The local coffee shops were great; I enjoyed locally-grown food; I struck up conversations with random Seattlites on the buses; I vlogged each day (check 'em out on Facebook). The fellowship with Matt and Mary uplifted my spirit, so much that I did not want to return home that Sunday. Savannah is my current abode, but Seattle has won a few of my affections.

A Melanchony Heart

Melancholy heart, in much distress

for the latter days lack much rest.

In addition is the want of things

out of reach, absent from the scene.

My inner being laments this want,

many solutions found in this manhunt.

Yet none have aided my soul

and made this dreary man whole.

I have tucked away the optimistic shades

while I wear these pessimistic frames I made.

I long to give away this heart of mine

yet I'm reluctant at the exact same time.

The longing to be loved, to hold someone close,

is marred by my heart being a trampled-on rose.

What was once delicate has been treated as dirt,

the universe inside me is filled with unspeakable hurt.

Days Go By

Waiting, watching, keeping alert
for something drastic to surface.
Getting caught in everyday routine,
different outcomes but same events.
Change is needed to rid this trap,
feeling free yet contained in this town.
Days arrive, and days go by,
nothing seems to be new under the sun.
What happened yesterday will occur today,
and tomorrow shall yield similar results.
Where's the contentment in all this,
true comfort as a foundation?
Lies in my God who reign this world,
who dictates my life and lights my path.
Even when that path is engulfed with fog,
in faith I reach up and He leads me on.

Untitled

The foundations shook and made the structure fall, turns out what we had was not solid at all.
You came to my doorstep with a strange glare, had me feeling worried as I fixed my stare.
Then four unexpecting words came from your mouth that made my world come crashing down.
Never have I been as traumatized before, I just lost someone I adamantly adored.
Now you're completely out of the picture for good, I've proceeded forward as a grown man should.
I'll not give harsh words nor make a dramatic scene, because you've only hurt yourself by losing me.
I'm clueless as to what is in store for you next, but I want no part or even a context.
The last poem I wrote was strictly for you, and this recent poem...is strictly for you too.
Getting over this has taken some time, but in the words of Lou Rawls...you'll never find another love like mine.
Goodbye forever.

An Inward Reflection

Monday morning, arguably the hardest of days to get out of bed. I wake up with thoughts about the job: what could happen, what could go wrong, what surprises are in store, etc. I'm thankful for a 1pm-8pm shift that allows me to awake around 8am and devote my morning to read, meditate, and prepare for the day ahead. I'm an Area Manager with the company now, so my responsibilities have increased; this job teaches me leadership skills day-to-day, whether by experience or via studying my bosses and how they handle certain crises or situations. I saw this quote on Twitter (I forgot who it is attributed to): true leadership is measured by how well things are being run when you aren't around. God is building leadership skills in me for His purposes; what the future holds I don't know, but in the mean time it is being faithful with my job, church responsibilities, finances, and the metamorphosis of my character.

8 Weeks on The Holy Spirit

     On the first Lord's Day in June, I will begin an 8-week series on the Holy Spirit. The Spirit (pneuma) of God is mentioned throughout the Bible: the beginning we see Him waiting for God's command to separate the waters, He speaks through the prophets, He descends upon Jesus, He descends at Pentecost, and He speaks to the churches in Revelation. My first class will address the issue of the Spirit's personhood. The Spirit is described throughout God's Word as a person, not a mere force like what we hear about in Star Wars...or in the Jehovah Witness cult. The Spirit speaks, searches, discerns, convicts, vivifies. He can be rejected, grieved, insulted, and blasphemed.

    

In case you're interested, here's an outline for the class:

1. The Holy Spirit: What or Who?
2. The Holy Spirit throughout the Old Testament
3. The Holy Spirit's Role in the life of Jesus
4. The Holy Spirit commissioned by Jesus (pre/post resurrection)
5. The Holy Spirit's conviction of the world
6. The Holy Spirit's vivifying new persons in Christ
7. The Holy Spirit's fruits and gifts
8. Question of Cessation/Continuation of the miraculous gifts

     I may perhaps put up portions of each study on the blogosphere, so if you're interested leave a comment and I'd be happy to post them.

Recommended readings:
Doctrine of the Holy Spirit by George Smeaton
Perspectives on Pentecost by Richard B. Gaffin, Jr.
The Holy Spirit by Sinclair B. Ferguson
The Christian Faith by Michael S. Horton
Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem
Finally Alive by John Piper

Dadisms

I love my Dad. Over the years I've grown to love and appreciate him more and more, especially since I've left the nest and have gone to live on my own. Where I'd be in life without him, I could hardly imagine if I would've turned out the way I have. I'm forever grateful for times we get to hang out, whether its moving stuff in the house, going to visit Granny, etc. There's just something about father-son time that is hard to put in words, but it's the best feeling in the world.

Over time, I began picking up and doing things my Dad did. Here are but a few:

1. Work ethic. My Dad worked all week growing up; even now with him being retired, he stays busy.
2. Grunts. Whenever my Dad would reach down to pick up something, he'd let out a brace-yourself grunt...do this on occasion even when the object isn't heavy.
3. Farting. Whenever he'd let one go, he'd look around the room puzzled and would jokingly wonder where that noise came from.
4. People skills. I've watched him interact with his customers during the job; good habit to pick up.
5. On occasion whenever he would get furious with his laptop for work, he'd let out a "DANGIT ALL." lol He would also talk to himself as he worked through the issue "Ok so I go here;" "trying to print;" etc.
6. Chair recliners. How it's nice to lean back on that couch and take it easy. This will be an important buy in my first home.
7. Coffee every morning. Took me a little while, but now I'm engulfed in coffee; though, I don't drink it black like him. yuck.
8. Taking good care of possessions. "You treat your stuff better because you own it, but when something isn't yours, you aren't as careful."
9. TV shows. "24" was the best series ever. Even when we weren't watching it together, we would turn the lights out and never answer the phone while it was on. If Mom came in the room, she would be silenced (because she knew it was the Bauer-hour not to be disturbed and wanted a reaction from us haha).
10. He's a family man. Dad loves Mom very much, and cares very much for all his kids. I desire and Lord-willing I'll get an opportunity to have my own family to pass on this fatherly love.

...but seriously, where's my green grass?

My previous post was a plug for a book by Stephen Altrogge, The Greener Grass Conspiracy, in which he makes the case against the empty promises this world offers. Get the new iPad, and you'll be brushed up on the world's newest technology. Invest in this new company, for your nest egg will be secure. Watch this movie filled with all manner of perversion and your hormones will be raging. Drink this beer and you'll have a good time. Use this make-up, ladies, for you'll have countless men running after you. Use this body spray, men, and the ladies will flock to you. Even though partial satisfaction is given in these situations and more, we're still left empty every time. The fix we desire becomes stronger every time we give in. And though paradise is waved in front of us, we find ourselves in a barren field disheartened, empty, and fooled.

Where's My Green Grass?

This book looks interesting and will be released by CrossWay at the end of the month. The author is addressing the "if only" notion that we tend to audibly and/or tacitly say to ourselves when we desire something. My life, up to this point, has consisted of many "if only" moments, desiring both good and bad things, both leading to utter disappointment in some way, shape, or form. I don't agree with Buddhism that desire is bad and you should get rid of it, but if we have experienced the rebirth of the Holy Spirit then everything falls in place after we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. We have salvation, that which is paramount, but if we desire the things God gives over-against God Himself, we find every time that the grass we yearn to lay on isn't so green after all.

Atychiphobia

You're probably wondering this means, right? It's the fear of failure. I'm far from being a scientific expert as to what causes this, whether it be neurotransmitters or some similar chemical malfunction in the brain, but the fear of failure can be minute or catastrophic. It could push someone to do better, or to quit. This isn't going to be an exposition of any portion of Scripture, as my posts most commonly are; rather, this is going to be an honest inward reflection of what really causes me to be anxious when considering present/future things.

"Philosopher in Meditation"

This painting by Rembrandt portrays me in an honest, deep way. I think a lot. Whether I'm reading a book, working, driving, sitting in church, etc. it's more than likely visible that I'm meditating on something. What am I thinking about? Well, it varies with the moment: life, God and His Word, future, girlfriend, work, failures, some undesired past event--I could go on. From time to time, dwelling on the uncertainty knocks me off my equilibrium: "What's going to happen next?" Also, "I've begun this path; what if a dead-end awaits?" I've found myself staring at this photo time and time again, seeing my reflection in how I can hang my head low and be lost in thought.

The Authority of Jesus - How Do You Respond?

All of us have authoritative figures above us, ranging from parents, bosses, police, tax agents, etc. Each draws a different type of reaction, but they all call for obedience in some way, shape, or form: you must pay your taxes, perform your tasks at work, follow laws and ordinances. And when we knowingly stray and an authority figure is nearby, we cringe and try to hide as if everything is fine. A vivid example would be getting pulled over by local law enforcement after getting caught in a speed trap; your stomach drops and fear has brought a chill down your spine. Yet, this fear of authority does not cause us to stop disobeying what we know is right, regardless of whether or not we are caught. Jesus in his earthly ministry manifested authority over numerous realms, especially the forgiveness of sins.

Read along with me from Matthew 7:28-9:13 as I expound on 1) Authority Acknowledged, 2) Authority Manifested, 3) Authority Affirmed, and 4) Authority Despised.

Managing Well

Since June of this year, I have been supervising with my office cleaning company: during the summer I was working with a team that moved furniture, various detailed cleaning, and some stripping & waxing floors. In August I was given a position as Site Supervisor over JCB, a tractor-producing company whose headquarters for North America abides near Savannah's airport. Looking back to June, I've gone through many things that tested my ability to lead; I've continued to ask myself this question daily: Am I being trustworthy of the job and resources that my boss has granted me?

In Luke 16, in the presence of the Pharisees, scribes, and the disciples, Jesus gives the parable of the dishonest manager. This comes after chapter 15 (didn't take a seminary degree to figure that one), where the Pharisees and scribes were grumbling because Jesus was receiving and eating with sinners. Jesus, in turn, gave them three parables: a) lost sheep, b) lost coin, and the c) lost son. These were aimed directly at the Pharisees and scribes, explaining that beauty is in the eye of the beholders (shepherd, woman, father), and they gave value on what they possessed--so also, who the Father extends compassion to, is not based on any self-worth in an individual or by their own merits.

Finding the Savior in Lamentations

I felt led to read through the book of Lamentations yesterday. And as I began reading, it was tempting to stop and move somewhere else because of the reality of destruction, exile, and guilt that the Jews were going through at the time. The Jews were cast into Babylonian captivity back in 586 BC because of their own willingness to serve idols rather than the living God:

"...she took no thought of her future; therefore her fall is terrible;" 1:9a

"The Lord is in the right, for I have rebelled against his word;" 1:18a

"Look, O LORD, for I am in distress; my stomach churns; my heart is wrung within me, because I have been very rebellious." 1:20a

"Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity to restore your fortunes, but have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading." 2:14

"We have transgressed and rebelled," 3:42a

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition comes to Savannah

So yesterday my father and I went down to the site in Savannah where Extreme Makeover is building a house for a family in need. And out of nowhere a reporter for the Savannah Morning News taps me on the shoulder and asked to interview me.